People talk about “finding their balance” like some jerk is hiding it from them and once they magically stumble across it everything will be ok…
Don’t worry tho, the good news is you may not even want it
Lets talk about capacity, I am a fan of how Ben Burgeon breaks it down
a) If you focus on 1 thing you can be world class
b) If you focus on 2 things you can be at a high professional level
c) If you focus on 3 things you can be an expert within those 3 domains
d) If you focus on 4 things you will become mediocre at everything
Lets start with a) (seems logical)
You are working to be the best in your sport or profession… Balance will not exist for you my friend.
If you want to be the best it is going to take 100% of your focus
b) You can have 2 here, so lets say you choose your family and your profession… Now pay attention because this is where it gets tricky
You need to divide your capacity 50/50 between these 2 things
It’s easy to tell when you are messing this up
If you are on the phone or computer for work during time allocated to becoming the best partner, mother, farther, brother, or sister then you will become better at your job while your family life suffers.
Simple decisions made by you will bring these 2 things out of balance…
I know what you are thinking my friend “I am doing this for my family”
The consequences, good or bad don’t change the fact that in the moment you chose your work over quality time with the peole right in front of you, the motivations are irrelevant.
Work will come again, moments with people important to you… not so much
c) Much the same as b but with better planning and one more element.
d) where most of us live I would say, spread so thin we don’t have enough time to get good at anything, in other words… trying to “find your balance”
Actionable thing to do:
Find out whats important to you
Do those things
Watch this video for a better understanding https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULAl7Qw8nnA